Scenario one: we keep praying and hoping for a miracle that the aorta will grow super fast. He comes out with no aorta problems. Then he would come home with us from the hospital and return to Phoenix children's hospital between 3-6 months old to fix his AV Septal Valve. We have not given up on this option, however we feel like we need to start opening our minds to prepare for the other options as well.
Scenario two: Jaxton comes out with a small aorta but is showing signs of being ok for a little bit. He would then come home with us under close monitoring with lots of equipment for checking....things. I'm not sure but they assured me I would know what I was doing. Then when Jaxton shows signs of not doing well we would go in for the surgery to fix the aorta which would then need to be monitored throughout his life and most likely replaced a few times as a Child. Also of course he would have a separate surgery within 3-6 months for the AV septal valve.
Worst case scenario three: Jaxton comes out and shows signs of unsustainable blood flow. Would then be transferred by helicopter to Phoenix Children's Hospital and have immediate open heart surgery. This surgery basically redesigned the whole heart by using part of the pulmonary vein to replace the aorta, then using other human veins to create a new valve for the pulmonary valve. I think this is correct. (Once again I'm still learning) This valve would have to be monitored throughout his young life as well and most likely replaced a couple of times. Let's not forget the additional surgery that will be between 3-6 months for the AV Septal Valve.
Whew!! That's a lot to take in and understand as a human let alone as a mom. So how am I holding up? Well a few weeks ago a story was shared in church that has been on my mind a lot. I can't remember what it's called or who wrote it. Sorry in advance to the author. It is about three trees 🌲 in a forest. Each tree had a dream to be something amazing. The first tree wanted to be a treasure chest and hold the worlds greatest treasures. The second tree dreamed of becoming a beautiful ship to carry these greatest kings and lords across the waters. The final tree dreamed to stay where it was and grow as tall and beautiful as he could so when people looked up they would remember the creator. One day they all get chopped down the first is turned into a hay holder for animals to eat out of and put into a stable. The second is made into a small fishing boat. The third was cut up into lumber and set aside. The three trees were disappointed and didn't understand.
As time went on the son of God, Jesus Christ came to earth and where was he laid? In the hay holder in the stable. The first tree now held the greatest treasure and fulfilled his dream. The second tree became the fishing boat that Christ was on when he calmed the sea. Again the dream of the tree was realized as he carried the Lord across the sea. And lastly the pile of lumber was used to create the cross which is now a symbol across the land of Christ and the creator.
I'm sure you've figured it out by now, the moral is, in our mind we may have goals and a plan all set for ourselves but God has a different plan to help us be what we need to be. To tie it all together, this is how I feel. Like a tree that had to be chopped down to figure out my purpose! I have always been a dreamer. I wasn't sure what I wanted to be but I know I wanted to be something amazing that made a
difference. I'm sure this isn't the end of my story but now I realize I get to be amazing!i get to be a really good mom. I GET TO BE A HEART MOM!!
Of course I'm sooooooo sad. Enduring watching a little helpless baby going through multiple surgeries is going to be so hard for me but I recently received a blessing and was blessed with peace of mind so even though I am sad I have this very calm and peaceful feeling inside which I know come from faith. I have absolute faith that God created Jaxton. God has his hand in this and whatever happens is what needs to happen. So when you see me don't feel bad for me. Just smile or hug me and join me in faith. Where there is faith, fear can not be. God is good and I'm ready to learn what kind of amazing He is going to make me.
Here he is. SO CUTE!!
