Get Ready, Get Set,..Wait...

(Warning this is a feelings post. If you are looking for Jaxton's CHD details, visit other posts)

On May 19, 2017 we got to meet Jaxton's surgeon and Neonatalogist.

Appointment one was at Phoenix Children's Hospital at 8am. Justin, his dad, and I walked on in not knowing exactly what to expect. First the kindest woman named Jessica came in and gave us the rundown on what we were there for. She mentioned we would discuss with the surgeon what we can expect after Jaxton is born and ask any questions we may have about recovery and so on. After a few moments of waiting Dr. Vallez entered. He continued to tell us that the details of surgery would surely be forgotten so he would wait to tell us more details as the surgery approached. We were then educated a little bit about him and the PCH cardiac team. last but not least the question and answer portion of the conversation came.

Will I get to bring him home right away? Will his Aorta work? Will he have immediate surgery? Would it be open heart surgery or a different option? Will I be stuck at the other hospital while my family and sweet baby are transferred to PCH? Will I be there when he goes into surgery? Will he get to nurse? Will he have to wait to be circumcised? How long will we be in the hospital? Will we be in the NICU or PICU?...and so on.

Turns out the blanket answer to all of these questions is..."we will have to see what happens when he comes out."
The few things I did learn is Jaxton probably wont need a helicopter ride. An ambulance ride should be just fine. Also, Charlie should be aloud into the NICU or PICU as long as she is healthy. YAY!!!!

However, I quickly realized after just a few of my questions that no one has the answers yet. No one will have the answers til this little man decides to make his grand entrance into the world. It's best if I stop asking questions. So no, I still don't know "How the baby is" All I know is that he is growing and we will find out when he comes out.

Appointment two was at Banner Dessert at 1pm with the Neonatalogist. Here we learned that I will deliver Jaxton, they will do a few things to check him, I will get to hold him for 5ish minutes, then he will be whisked away to the NICU for an echo-cardiogram and other testing. At that point they will call our cardiologist Dr. Jadeikin and plan where to go from there. We should have this information within a few hours after his birth.

 I don't know if it's the end of pregnancy discomforts, the weight of the unknown, or a bad combo of the two, but for the first time in a while I feel a little bit deflated. Yes I am so grateful to know beforehand so that we can have a plan. Yes! I am grateful that he most likely will survive and lead a great life. Yes I am grateful for everyone who has opened up to me about their stories and journey's with CHD's. While I am mostly grateful, I am also ready to get on with it. It's been 12 weeks of wondering and waiting. I'm ready to meet this baby and get on with the show.

As for my life right now I go to Dr appointments at least twice a week. NST(non-stress tests) on Monday's and BPP(no clue what that stands for) on Thursdays. With one more cardiologist appointment at 38 weeks. When I'm not at appointments I'm trying to make it through each day without complaining. I made it a goal to enjoy this last little while before life changes forever again. I remember when it was just Justin and I waiting to have Charlie we realized we would never go back. Now our little family of three has become the new comfort zone and it's about to change again.

I don't know what's in store for our little family but I do know that I'm ready.
I'm done waiting.

But that's not really how God does things is it? I must remember it's in his hands, it's in his time. I must wait. ( hopefully I can figure out how to do that with some sort of grace)

On the bright side I get lots of cute pictures of him :)